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Because Motherhood is a journey!











3.12.2011

Every mom needs a little support.

One thing that I have learned since becoming a mother is that you really need support. Even if its just your sister, someone has to be there for you to talk to, question, bounce ideas off of, or just plain listen to you b*^@#. I have a pretty decent support network in my sisters and friends. Its nice to be able to call someone and they will understand what I am going through. My older sister has been a huge resource when it has come to needing someone to talk to when I am down or need advice. I also have a few people I can talk to about life as a SAHM. Its not as easy as it seems! LOL. But there was something that was missing in this support group when I got pregnant with my second. Not a one of them had lost a baby. I would never have wanted any of them to experience this just so I could have a confidant. So I was looking online for info when I was pregnant with my second when I stumbled across the website i-am-pregnant.com joined and found a group of ladies in a forum that was dedicated to being pregnant after having had a loss. I was a nuerotic mess with my son and these ladies let me get all my crazy out. I had lost 2 babies previously and was very worried that my womb would become a tomb again. The ladies in the forum calmed and reassured me. Since they had all been through what I have been through I wasn't making anyone uncomfortable when I mentioned my losses or had a sad day months after the losses. They understood that the happiness of having a baby growing inside me did not mask my grief at losing two pregnancies. We all rejoiced together when a "rainbow baby" entered the world and we all mourned together when one of us lost another baby. It was a great thing for me to have during my pregnancy. I concieved my son 19 days after my second loss and I was afraid for months that something was going to go wrong. We even had some scares during the pregnancy where it looked like he might have to be taken out early. I shared all this with the group and got the support I needed. I have come to love these ladies like a good friend that I see everyday. I honestly and truly care for them and am interested in their lives and how they are doing. We all became such a close knit group while we were pregnant. We have kept in touch since our babies were born, and have even started a group page on Facebook. Now the topic is raising little ones after loss. I am glad that it was started, I never knew that I would be so scared about my son living and breathing after he was born. I guess once you have lost a baby it changes the way you think. I never take anything for granted anymore. Not that I ever did, but if my daughter slept longer than usual I did not feel a panicky feeling like I do when my son does. I guess I have just realized how precious,short and fleeting life is. The women in the group realize it also. I chat with these ladies almost daily about our children and other kid related things. All this is so out of character for me, I have never in the past tried to communicate with anyone online or get to know anyone online. I am so glad that I took the plunge and did so. I don't think I could have handpicked a better group of ladies and I could not be happier with the support that these ladies have given me. So I guess what I am trying to say in such a longwinded way is seek out support. If you can't get it around you, get if from people you don't see everyday. The internet has created a network of people that a mom need only do a few clicks of her mouse and she will have all the support she needs.

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