Because Motherhood is a journey!


Becoming a WAHM

One of the things that has always plagued me about being a SAHM (stay at home mom) is leaving all the financial burden on my husband's shouders. My being at home was his idea and he is not upset at all about our arrangement. I am the one with the problem. I have always been so independent and leaving everything in his hands is hard for me. At first I stayed on call at my old job for about a year and half. Then that dried up and I had to move on. Then I babysat my niece for a while. Then that also went away when my brother in law was laid off. I will be watching my sister's new baby in about a year, but I need to do something before then. I have been searching the internet and the classifieds for something I could do that would not affect my husband's schedule. I then came to the conclusion that there is really nothing that I can do. His schedule takes up so much of the day. He works eight hours at the prison five days a week. He often stays for an extra eight. So any job that fell within the hours of 1:30pm-6:30am was out of the question. Doesn't really leave much time for any potention employer to work with. I gave up for while. Then I saw that other moms like me were calling themselves WAHM's. I knew what SAHM mom meant, but had no idea what a WAHM was. Then I looked it up and a lightbulb went off in my head. WAHM means Work at home mom! Well I could definitely do that. Right? Maybe not. I had no skills or education that would alllow me to apply for a job that didn't care if I was in the office or not. Then I thought about all the pages I had become a fan of on Facebook. All those women were mothers and most seemed to sell handmade items as their sole income. It seems so easy. Post what you've made and take a custom order every once in a while. I can do that! I love to crochet and I am pretty darn good at it. So this last week I took the plunge and reserved the name "All 4 my 2 Creations" on Etsy and Facebook. I have already made a couple items to sell. I have also sold 4 changing pad covers that I sewed. Its a start and a happy one at that. I have definitely learned that I like seeing my projects being used by other people. I will not be sewing much more until I get a better machine though!!! I thought I was going to throw that thing out the window. Crocheting and knitting are my passions and I will definitely be staying with those. I am so happy to be taking this plunge. I hate not making any money. Maybe its me, but I just don't like being taken care of. I want to feel like a participant in the finances and now I get to feel that way again! And of course the business had to be named "All 4 my 2 Creations" because everything I do is about the little people that I have brought into the world.


Some things I do no like about motherhood

Today I had to take my almost one year old son to the ER. My daughter was being disobedient and didn't stop rocking the glider when I told her to. He got behind it and it hit him. He ended up with a laceraton by his eyebrow. I am so glad the damage wasn't worse. This is the part of motherhood I do not like. I can't stand to see one of my babies in pain. I wish I could just take it away. Another thing I do not like is the disobedience, whining and hard headedness that eventually all kids have to go through. There are days when I am at my wits end when it comes to my five year old. I just keep telling myself this to will pass.


Its been so long

Its been so long since I have updated this blog. Our little family has been through some trying times. We like all families out there are really starting to feel the pinch financially. We let the internet go, because it is one of those frivolous things we don't actually need. I dod most of my surfing on my phone anyways. I tried to blog on my phone, I even downloaded an app. It just was to hard to blog on my phone, so I gave it up for a while. I am now going to be able to pick it back up again. I also thing I will be able to do it more often then before. The internet is going to come back into this little home of ours. I have decided to go back to college. I am going to be taking online classes and well you need internet to succeed with that. I am just going for a two year degree. I want to do something a little more marketable, and my interests have changed greatly since I first went. I always thought it was stupid to ask an 18 year old to make such a huge decision about life. I still would do what I originally chose to do, but I would need more schooling to really be marketable in this tough job market. If I am going to pay for it, why not just go do something that suits my personality better? I have worked out a time daily just for myself. I expect that I will be able to blog, read, craft etc. during that time. At night I sit with my son until he falls asleep. Theres a glider in his room and I take the opportunity to do things I enjoy. I sit in that glider long after he falls asleep listening to his little soft snores as I take time to do things just for me. I have really come to appreciate this time. Its a nice way to wind down from a long day with a high needs infant and a chatty five year old. As much as I love spending time with my husband and children it is really nice to have solitude (well as close to it as I can come) every day. Maybe its starting a bad habit for the boy, but a part of me does not care. I cherish this time in his room. It started as a way for me to get him to go to sleep in a calmer manner. After I realized his howls carry well outside of the house I decided something had to change. He WAS falling sleep after only a few minutes of whining, then we moved him to his own room. BIG mistake. His room is so foreign to him and he refuses to sleep in it no matter how pretty the jungle animals on the wall may be. He cried for longer and longer stretches of time every night and started to actually wake a few time a night EVERY night. I really felt like he was regressing back to that scream all night and day newborn. I decided one night to just stay in his room and comfort him. The first few nights I do not think that it cut down on his crying to much and I was pretty discouraged. Eventually he became a lot calmer about sleeping in his room. He now only protests when initially laid down and then plays around a bit before drifting off to sleep in about five minutes time. As I type this right now he is talking in his sleep :) I am glad that we have both found a solution that works well for the both of us. He gets the comfort of having me near, and I get some time that is carved out just for mommy.


Pancakes and other firsts

My son tried pancakes for the first time today :)  Doesn't he look cute wearing them?  He also has had a few other firsts recently.  Yesterday he started crawling on all fours and mastered the pincer grip.  So my vacuum and I are going to become great friends!  I guess those two firsts weren't enough for him, because he decided to pull up today.  He's not quite eight months old he needs to SLOW DOWN!!!  He's my last baby and I really want to savor every precious moment of his infancy and it just seems like he's trying to speed through it.  My sweet baby will soon be walking at this rate.  I know part of being a good mom is being able to let go, but I'm finding it harder this time around.  I guess its time to dig out the gates and make an area in which he can explore his newfound freedom and abilities.


Sleep! Oh how I miss thee!

I do not do well with lack of sleep. I need to be able to sleep to be productive and keep my house clean. My son goes to sleep so late and my daughter wakes up so early. Not much time left for sleeping. I feel like I am burning the candle on both ends here. I thought that I would be getting pretty good sleep now that my son is eight months old. But having a high needs baby is a different game all together. He never slept much as a newborn and he's not a sleeper now. He has just recently started to sleep long stretches of time and I am eternally greatful for that. My problem is that I am now trained to not be able to sleep until about two in the morning. I am having a hard time going to sleep earlier. My husband is a nightowl and can easily stay up all night. He also can survive on barely any sleep at all. Being the exact opposite I just don't get how he does it. But in this case being so different works to our advantage. He is able to take the late shift and then sleep in while I take the early shift and go to bed earlier. The only kink in the system is when I am up with him doing the late shift and the baby is asleep! LOL. I need to be sleeping, but here I am blogging and entering giveaways. I will always be the one doing the early shift even on Mother's day, so I will definitely be a mess in the morning. Good thing my five year old only needs me to be able to hand her some cereal and then I can lay on the couch while she amuses herself. Days like that I remember what my husband's aunt always says to me when I look frazzled. "It will never be as hard as it right now". She's got a point. I notice that my children get easier as they grow and mature. During the survival mode newborn stage with my son, i thought I would never ever have a moment of quiet again. He screamed and screamed all day. Now he sits quietly by himself playing and trying to crawl. I would have never looked at that unhappy newborn and imagined that he would ever sit by himself giggling. So I am setting my eyes towards the future where both my children will go to sleep at a decent hour and my husband and I will follow them a couple hours later. Someday we will all get ourselves and our sleep schedules sorted out and this will be a distant fond memory. But while its here I don't want to forget how I felt about it. Every part of being a mom is great, even the parts that exhaust and frustrate me.


Lovely Pocket Diapers: A first impression review

I first came across Lovely Pocket Diapers (LPD) when I was entering diaper giveaways. I had never heard of the company, and was interested in checking them out. The owner started the company while her daughter was a NEWBORN! She was interested in cloth diapering her daughter but was to frugal to pay $15-$30 for one pocket diaper. So she launched a company early this year that makes cloth diapering an affordable option for families. This really means something to us because my husband is the sole provider for our family. I took advantage of the buy six get one free promo that is currently running. The diapers were really cute and truthfully I had a hard time picking out my seven favorites. My diapers arrived within three days of ordering. I was pretty impressed with the fast shipping. I ordered three of the "Rave" diapers and four of the "classic" diapers. I decided to use the diapers for twenty four hours straight so I could write a review as soon as possible. I have never used any diaper brand or style all day because my very chunky and "tender as a peach" son gets welts and bruises from diapers rubbing in the same place. I took a leap of faith that these diapers would be different. Since I knew I was going to be writing a review the first thing I did was take pictures and pick a diaper in my stash to compare my LPD diapers to. I picked the BumGenius 4.0 (BG). The BG seemed like the best choice because everyone I know seems to use this diaper as a gold standard for cloth diapers. I used a brand new BG so that the comparison will be as fair as possible. I need to state for the record that I have not been compensated in any way for this review. I bought my LPD diapers with my husband's hard earned money and my opinions on them are honest and not swayed in any way. I am writing this review because I have friends who are interested in purchasing LPD diapers and I wanted to give them a thorough and honest review of the LPD diapers.

Starting at $7.00 for a solid classic LPD the price on these diapers would be hard to beat. Solid colors for the Rave start at $12.00, which is an unbelievable deal. You would be very hardpressed to find a diaper with the features of the Rave that cheaply. Want a print? Prints only add $.50 to the total. The Rave and classic diapers are waterproof PUL pocket diapers. The inside of the diapers are lined with a stay dry lining to keep the baby from feeling any wetness. One microfiber insert is included with every diaper you purchase. If you need more inserts they are also sold seperately for $2.50 each. Want a more natural option? Bamboo inserts are also available and at $3.00 this is another amazing deal. I am really excited about this option. I really love bamboo in diapers.

The first diaper I opened was a classic style LPD. I really like the rings pattern and could not wait to get it out to play with. I noticed the patterned LPD is slicker than the BG. The solid color LPDs are very similar in texture to the BG. The slickness didn't bother me, but I imagine for some it will. For anyone who feels that way I would say stick to the solids or minky diapers.

The pocket of this diaper opens up in the back.

I found it to be roomy and easy to stuff with the included microfiber insert. In fact this diaper is easier to stuff than the BG. It is a little harder to unstuff. But in all fairness every diaper that has a pocket style like this takes a few extra shakes to unstuff. The only real complaint I read in the reviews before purchasing was that the LPD classic suffered from the dreaded wing droopage. This has now been solved with the addition of a hip snap.

The black diaper I recieved is an original classic. The red diaper is the new version. The classic now features crossover snaps which makes it great for newborns or skinny babies. With the hip snap and crossover snaps this diaper should fit well on most babies.

I was really excited to get out my Rave diaper in the cow print. I have been itching to have a cow printed diaper ever since I started to cloth diaper. The diaper being a nice soft minky was like the cherry on top. This diaper definitely falls under the "Mom wanted a really cute diaper to fuel her obsession" category.

The main features that sets the Rave apart from the Classic is the double row of waist snaps, an extra row of rise snaps, and the double gussets. Having a double row of snaps on the waist makes the tabs and the fit more secure around baby's belly. Adding the extra row of snaps to the rise widened the weight range of the diaper. So it will fit a little earlier and last a little longer than the Classic. The gussets are a really neat feature and should contain even runny newborn poo. I was a little apprehensive about the gussets because my son's thighs are very fat and bruise easily. The gussets on the LPD are snug yet gentle and fit very well. He did not have one red mark from the gussets.

No picture can do the gussets justice; you really have to see this in action for yourself. You will not be dissapointed.

The pocket on the Rave is a reinforced opening in the fabric of the diaper. This is the only real complaint I have about the Rave diapers. My problem with this style of pocket is that when the diaper is on the baby the microfiber insert can become exposed unless the diaper is on the largest size. Microfiber is so thirsty it can sometimes leave dry patches on baby's bum. You can fold the insert to make it fit if you want. I personally wouldn't. I put a fleece liner in the diaper to cover it. I use fleece liners with my prefolds and fitteds anyways so that extra step was really nothing to me. In comparing this to the BG the Rave fails here in my opinion. The BG has the same style opening, but it has a sham that overlaps so that the insert will not touch the baby. The LPD and BG are very similar in ease of stuffing. Both are also very easy to unstuff and the inserts come out within the first few shakes. Though I was dissapointed with the pocket opening it is not going to stop me from using the diaper. I imagine as the company grows and responds to feedback the pocket opening on the Rave diaper will change. My dislike of the opening aside I really like the Rave diaper.

Classic, BumGenius, and Rave diapers snapped down to the smallest setting.

The Rave gets even tinier than the BG diaper. The diaper is very tiny when you hold it. It appears like this diaper will truly fit a six pound newborn. The Classic is pretty large and I think a newborn would be to small for it.

classic, BumGenius, and Rave

Classic, BumGenius, and Rave fully unsnapped

When fully unsnapped the diapers are about the same size.

Classic, BumGenius, Rave

Compared side by side the BG is trimmer in the middle, but the extra width on the the LPDs did not seem to affect my son's ability to move or bother him at all. It does mean a slightly larger bum, but its truly negligable. Both LPD diapers are definitly a bit larger and longer. This might not matter for someone with petite skinny babies, but for someone like me with a tall and chunky baby it is very important. I feel confident that my son will be able to wear his LPD diapers comfortably until he potty trains.

The first night we got our LPDs we decided to go for broke and do the first test run overnight. I stuffed the diaper with its insert and a hemp one. I am happy to say that after ten hours of sleeping on his tummy my son was completely dry! I pushed the diaper a bit more and did a photo shoot shortly after he woke up. Still no leaks.

I am very pleased with the perfomance of the LPD. It held up even though I put it on very loose. I was very nervous about putting him in a LPD overnight because every PUL diaper he has ever worn overnight leaves deep red lines and bruises. Some of those marks have lasted two weeks. I usually use fleece or wool overnight so commiting to use LPD diapers for 24 hours to give them a full run was a HUGE commitment for me.

See how the diaper is snapped VERY loosely. I pretty much set this diaper up to fail and it performed wonderfully. I would feel comfortable setting this diaper to fit snugly overnight. It is very gentle on his thighs and that is something I cannot say about any of his PUL diapers, BG included.

LPD Rave in the Retro print.

Notice how the diaper is cut up higher than the pudgiest part of his thighs. A lot of his diapers are not cut this high and leave marks. I set one side of the snaps on the Rave offset of each other to get a looser fit on his thighs and a snugger fit on his belly. I have to do this with my BG and all his diapers with two rows of snaps.

He napped with his legs frogged and not one red line or mark on his hips or thighs.

Now for a little talk on fit. The LPD fits about as trim as a BG diaper and works well under clothes. It is snug in the back and legs so messes should stay in the diaper.

While both diapers fit well I think the classic style LPD fit better on my son. The rounded tabs allowed his thighs to push the diaper out of the way a little bit more. This is not a blow to the Rave at all. My chubby little man has always fit better in diapers with rounded tabs. I also thought the rise for my classic was slightly higher than the Rave which I like.

In terms of containment both LPD diapers performed as well as the BG or any other diaper in my stash. My son is both breastfed and formula fed and both types of poo were contained quite well! The insert was very thirsty and I did not have a leak. The second night my son fell asleep before I changed him and he slept eight hours with just one microfiber insert. He had no leaks when he woke up and his bum was dry to the touch also. My son is almost eight months and weighs over twenty four pounds. He has the potential to make a lot of pee and he sure did. The insert was so full and heavy I didn't even have to shake it out. It just plopped out when I turned the diaper over. How's that for performance!

I should mention a little on my experience with Lovely Pocket Diapers the company. When I ordered my six diapers I had to email the owner for the seventh per the promo directions. She responded fairly quickly. When my diapers arrived there was a handwritten note from her thanking me and using my name on my order reciept. I love little touches like that. I also mentioned in a post on Lovely Pocket Diaper's Facebook page that it was impossible to tell on a computer screen which diapers were fuzzy and which were not. Within two hours the diapers that were fuzzy were labeled on the site. I am truly impressed with the fast response to customer input.

This next paragraph is a little unfair, but I wanted to compare and contrast everything I could think of about the diapers. Keep in mind that the Lovely Pocket Diapers company is brand new and could not be expected to be as developed as Cotton Babies, the maker of the BG diaper.

I would like to see a newborn insert like BG has. It would be nice if it was sold either with the LPD diaper or as an extra accesory. I had to fold the insert to get it to fit as nicely as the newborn insert does in the BG. This created a lot of bulk and would be a problem when trying to put on pants. The larger size insert in the BG also has snaps which allow it to size down easily for babies that don't have the diaper unsnapped fully. The BG also has snaps that match its exterior. I really like that, but its not necessary. Other popular diaper brands have only white snaps. Another thing I noticed that is yet again no biggy is the tag. I don't think that the tag is as informative as the BG on how to launder the product. The tag also instructed you to close the diaper with hook and loop. All the diapers I saw on the site were snap. I prefer snap diapers, but it would be nice in the future to see hook and loop diapers for people who really like the adjustibility of that type of closure.

Bottom Line
I will definitely buy more diapers from Lovely Pocket Diapers. I am very impressed with the price, quality and customer service. The fit on my son was the best of any diaper that he has in his stash. It contains messes well and does not leak. This diaper performed for me as well as the pricier diapers when it came to being leak proof and containing messes. It outperformed the pricier diapers in the gentleness of the elastic on his thighs. The issues noted are truly negligable. The company already has a track record of listening to its customers and making improvements so I feel confident that the products sold will continue to improve.

I LOVE sleeping babies in cute diapers :)

I took more pictures of the Lovely Pocket Diapers in action than what will fit in a blog post and I will be continuing to upload throughout the week so come back often for more fluff action. To see the album please click the picture.
Lovely pocket diapers


A small victory!

Today I feel like I have gotten a small victory. I was able to put my baby down in his crib for a nap for the very first time! I know it doesn't seem like much to most people, but don't forget that my little boy is a very high needs baby. High needs babies are very sensitive and want things to be done a certain way and lustily resent change. He wants to be held and nursed to sleep. I don't mind doing that, but when he wakes up he has no skills to put himself back to sleep. I also think waking in different surroundings than what he fell asleep in has to be disconcerting and doesn't help him go back to sleep by himself. He is not hungry when he wakes up, but he nurses anyways because he needs that stimulation to go back to sleep. And if that doesn't happen he starts to throw such a huge fit that he pukes everwhere and it just escalates until I respond to him in the way he wants. Needless to say there is not much sleep going on for anyone. He doesn't fall asleep until after midnight and he wakes at least once every night. Believe it or not, we have fought for this sleeping pattern. Down by midnight and awakening once is a good sleep pattern for him! My husband and I are exhausted. We have been working on putting him to sleep by patting his back while he is laying down. Theres been mixed results with this. Today was definitely a success story. I put him down drowsy in his crib and patted for about five minutes and he fell asleep! That NEVER happens. It definitely never happens in his crib. At almost eight months old my baby has taken his first nap in his crib! Its the small things like this that make me grin ear to ear :D

And on a side note, my Lovely Pocket Diapers arrived today! Pics and a blog post reviewing them coming soon.

Its almost done!

So I have decided to just go with a template that I found on someone elses site. I am pretty pleased with this template. I have also started a blog on wordpress. I am going to run the two side by side for a while and see which one I like the most. Using someone elses template has caused there to be some problems with elements that I added. For example my signature has a white background. So it shows up funny on this new layout. Not to hard to change. Some of my personal touches disappeared that I would like to have kept, but I will figure out how to put them back in. I also have had to take out some of my personal touches that just did not match the new look. Now why couldn't those have disappeared? That would just be to easy I guess; and I am not that lucky. But all in all I am pleased with the way this blog now looks. I am glad to be almost done with the headache of searching out information and tutorials on how exactly to do this. I am not someone who should be messing with HTML codes and the like! Now I can focus on the few elements and personal touches I want to add and then start blogging again about my two wonderful children :)


Absence makes the heart grow fonder or at least makes me fonder of this blog!

I have been a bit neglectful of this blog. I have not made an entry in a bit that was about mothering besides posting a pic of my kiddos. What I have been doing for this blog is creating things to make the blog prettier. I have created a favicon and am working on completing a header and a blog button. I have also looked into putting buttons onto my blog of blogs I enjoy or causes I like. Look for these changes to make there way onto this blog very soon. I have spent way to many hours researching not to display my newfound talents.



My two kiddos yesterday.   They just make me smile :)


New Background. Aint it SOOOO much better!

Ok new background is up! Its almost 3:30 and I really, really need to go to bed! Just so excited with all this knowledge and of course cuteness that I am gaining! Now to just figure out that stupid header picture! This is where my Graphic Artist sister-in-law would become very handy.

Ok after much research and many, many confusing articles I hope this works!

Created this cute signature as part of my efforts to personalize this blog. Now just to figure out how to get it in every post without having to add it each time!


I have been working on ways to make this blog cuter and to have it reflect my personality more. I've found some cute pictures of us and the kids and will have a nice header on this blog soon. I am also reading as many web pages as I can that tell you just how exactly to make a blog personalized. I am not overly computer savvy so all these changes will be coming one at a time over a span of weeks. I am so excited to see what this little blog can become.

Lanolizing my woolies

Do I have your attention now? For those who don't know "my woolies" is not a euphemism for anything untowards. Really my woolies are technically my sons. I have been having problems with his PUL diaper covers cutting into his pop can thighs. Adding wool and fleece covers to my rotation is my solution for the red marks/bruises the PUL covers leave. I recently purchased a pair of wool longies and a soaker from a local WAHM. Her company name is "The Sleepy Sheep" and buying from her made wool diaper covers fit into my budget. Wool covers can be very, very expensive. The wool I bought was made from an upcycled sweater and works just the same as those expensive covers at a fraction of the cost. In my opinion the upcycles ones are much cuter! But thats enough on that. I will later dedicate a post to reviewing my products from The Sleepy Sheep.

I used The sleepy sheep's instructions and was able to quite easily lanolize my first cover. For those who don't know Lanolin is the oil that you feel whenever you pet a sheep. I used the lansinoh lanolin I bought to help with those first weeks of nursing. The wool item is put in a lanolin bath so that it soaks up the lanolin and becomes water resistant. This water resistance is why wool works as a diaper cover. I was so nervous about lanolizing the covers. It just seemed to easy to ruin my investment. I am so thankful that her blog was available. She had a lot of photos and very clear directions. For the uninitiated, wool can be very, very easily shrunk without much effort at all. Just ask anyone who has ruined their favorite wool sweater. The soaker is currently sitting overnight in my sink and so far it does not look like something that will fit a doll.

I have been using the covers without lanolin all week, but I can't wait to see how they work now that they will be fully prepped to repel pee.

This is my fluffy delivery from "The Sleepy Sheep" :)

My son in his longies

This is the back side of the custom soaker she made for us. She made an orange frog just like my five year old asked for. I am thinking next time I want a monkey for my chunker munkers :)


Daisy and the sleeping princess

Tonight my daughter couldn't find her Daisy before going to bed.  I felt cruel, but I told her she had to go to bed without her.  You see her bed time routine has a few steps in it and one of the steps is locating things you need to sleep like pillow, blanket, and Daisy.   I asked if her routine was complete and she said yes.  More than once loss of Daisy has stalled bedtime by 30 minutes or more.  So tonight we went without her.  My poor baby was so upset and talking about how she wasn't going to go to sleep and she would stay up all night.  I told her it was her choice and shut off the light.  Well of course she fell asleep and I quickly forgot about Daisy.  A few hours later when I finally got Mr. Cranky down for good, I turn down the sheets on my bed and guess who is there.  Daisy.  I snuck into the princess' room and put Daisy up near her chin.  She grabbed that nasty ol' lovey in her sleep and snuggled up with it.  It was so cute :) 

And speaking of Mr. Cranky.  He is sleeping in his new longies from The Sleep Sheep, a local WAHM business.  I see a product review in the near future :)


Update on cloth diapering

I LOVE it!!  I can't believe how much it has improved his skin.  Before his poor tush was always rosy and his little crack was always red and angry :(  I am sad it took me so long to realize he was allergic to disposables.  But I caught it and that's what count.  I am so glad I switched, really wished I had done it all along.  I love how soft and dry his bum is after being in cloth.  I just absolutely adore it <3  I cleaned blow out outfits almost every day while using huggies and switching to another disposable did not improve that.  In fact every time he's pooped in one of the huggies I have left he has blown out.  Today I scrubbed his clothes, the changing table cover and him!!  Bad sposies!  I have only had one poo incident with a cloth diaper.  It was only a tiny leak out the leg and that poop was as bad as the one today.  I would MUCH rather clean a poopy diaper than a poopy outfit.  I prefer my messes contained and not all over the place.  Plus if I can't get the stain out of a diaper it doesn't ruin it.  So all in all I really am pleased with the decision to switch.  Now I've just got to figure out exactly what works the best for us.  Right now I have a few different styles of diapers.  Maybe I'll review them here so I can keep it all straight.  And I might be wrong, but I think baby boy likes his cloth diapers and happy tushy :)


Daddy's leaving!

Every day my daughter watches her father back the car out of the drive then runs as fast as she can to her room window so she can watch him until he disappears.  It just warms this mother's heart that she cares so much <3

And speaking of my daughter, yesterday she turned 5!  Where has all the time gone?  Hard to believe she starts school next year.

BTW I am LOVING this blogger mobile app.  I finally will be able to blog reguarly :)


My little daredevil

Monday we went to the playground so my oldest could enjoy playing on all the equipment.  I put little guy in the Mei Tai on my back.  While I was watching the princess play in the sand, I noticed the baby kicking and jumping around on my back.  He was watching a little girl enjoying a swing ride.  I debated with the Mr. if putting him in a swing was a good idea at not quite 7 months.  We both agreed he wasn't as skittish as our first and gave it a go.  He was so small in there we put the diaper bag behind him :)  He LOVED it.  No matter how hard we pushed or high he got he enjoyed himself immensely.  Stinker Dinker definitely takes after his father.


Just when I've forgotten

The other night I was washing bottles, and I was moping to myself about how unfair it was that ovulation was yet again making my milk supply drop. I want so desperately to be able to exclusively breastfeed my children and I just don't have the supply. I was getting pretty mired in my self pity, thinking about all the supplements I was using and all the "it worked for me" advice I was following. I angrily squeezed some dish soap onto a scrubber, smacked the bottle down on the counter and dug into my pity party a bit deeper. I then hear giggling and lots of it. Then my oldest starts jumping repeatedly behind me. I turn around to snap at her, but before the tart words leave my mouth I notice why she is jumping. My angry squeezing and slamming down of the soap bottle had created a flurry of tiny bubbles around and behind me. She was jumping up trying to catch them as they floated away from her. She kept jumping up higher and higher trying to capture one of those shiny rainbow colored bubbles. She was so happy to just be jumping at bubbles. It shook me out of my self pity. The burst of bubbles had made her so happy for the brief moments that they were there. She was completely focused on the bubbles and just how much enjoyment she was getting out of them. It made me start think I should be happy for the small things and not worry about the things I cannot fix or really do not matter. I cannot fix my lack of supply and I have decided to just be happy with that. Baby boy still wants to nurse and will take every bit I give him. I have been missing out on some bonding over worrying wether or not he was getting enough from me. Silly mom. I know in the years to come wether I could breastfeed him exclusively is not going to matter. What does is that both of my chldren are alive and healthy. We are blessed and being blessed every day. Both have recieved as much breastmilk as I can give them. I have not given up and I am doing the best I can and I should be happy for that. I guess it took a four year old to remind this woman of almost thirty years to just enjoy what I have been given for the moment and not to focus on what I cannot have.


R.I.P. Grandpa Al

Today my heart is heavy. My Grandpa passed away yesterday. He was in his eighties. His last three years were not pleasant for him. His body was tired and he said he was ready. I know he is no longer suffering but the loss of him still feels horrible. I am glad that I was able to see him before he went. I wasn't sure I would make it in time, but it took him four long days to pass. He endured so many horrific things as his body shut down. I had no clue that a natural death could be so painful and drawn out. I will miss him. May God rest his soul. My children went with me to visit him. I am glad I brought them. They may never remember this, but they were a blessing to Grandpa. My daughter and my niece sang to him and lifted his heart. My mother lifted my 6 month old up over the bed for Grandpa to see him and Grandpa gave him the biggest smile. My son locked eyes with him and grinned ear to ear. It was like for one golden moment no one was sad or dying. Children are such a blessing even the dying cannot resist their charm.

I have a funeral to go this week still. I have explained to my oldest about death. She is not quite five and I don't think she understands. I am not so sure she needs to. She knows that Grandpa Al was sick and now we are going to put him in the ground. And that he wanted to see his wife in heaven so he went there. What do you tell a small child besides that?


I did it!

So I took the plunge, I got my first two thirsties diaper covers today, 10 prefolds and 2 swaddlebees inserts. Tomorrow I will go pick up my Flips and inserts. Then after much prepping and more prepping I will be able to start this cloth diapering journey :) I am excited! I know there will be ups and downs, but I am determined to find the systen and way of cloth diapering that works for me. Pictures of the cute one himself and his deliciously chubby thighs in a cloth diaper are sure to make their way onto this blog very soon!


So sweet

Here's a moment I never want to forget. This morning my little monkey was sleeping in a bit long, so the princess and I went to wake him up. I was kissing his cheeks to get him to wake up and saying his name softly. He started to stir and when he opened his eyes his head was turned away from me. The first thing he saw was his big sister. He smiled so radiantly and beautifully. She smiled back at him in just the same way. It was pure magic. For a moment in time it felt like I was a voyeur peeking in on a special bond between the two. It just makes my heart sing to see my two children have something so special between them. I cannot wait to watch this bond blossom and mature.


Nobody pushes me around

The title is a saying I saw printed on a baby carrier, a Mei Tai specifically. Babywearing is a subject near and dear to my heart. Today my family and I did a three mile hike. I wore my littlest in a Mei Tai. A Mei Tai is an asian style baby carrier that is a large rectangular shape with four straps to tie it on. It was a little chilly, so we added a blanket tucked under the straps and took off. It was so nice to finally get out of the house and get some exercise. With a small baby and the cold I have not been able to do anything outside. I have been feeling a bit of cabin fever for a while and today I finally could not take it anymore. I am so glad I took him out. He enjoyed himself and actually slept the last two miles away.

Here he is in a cotton gauze wrap. A wrap is just a long piece of fabric that you wrap a certain way to support the baby and tie him to you. This particular wrap was just washed and the ends sewed together to prevent fraying. I did nothing else to it at this point. I was trying it out to see exactly what size I would like it to be. I wear it all the time to do different types of carries. I often end up cleaning my house with him attached to me in some way.

Here we are using a beautiful handmade wrap that a friend sent traveling around the country. It was with us for a week. I just love the colors.

Oh and did I mention real men wear pink! ;)

Every mom needs a little support.

One thing that I have learned since becoming a mother is that you really need support. Even if its just your sister, someone has to be there for you to talk to, question, bounce ideas off of, or just plain listen to you b*^@#. I have a pretty decent support network in my sisters and friends. Its nice to be able to call someone and they will understand what I am going through. My older sister has been a huge resource when it has come to needing someone to talk to when I am down or need advice. I also have a few people I can talk to about life as a SAHM. Its not as easy as it seems! LOL. But there was something that was missing in this support group when I got pregnant with my second. Not a one of them had lost a baby. I would never have wanted any of them to experience this just so I could have a confidant. So I was looking online for info when I was pregnant with my second when I stumbled across the website joined and found a group of ladies in a forum that was dedicated to being pregnant after having had a loss. I was a nuerotic mess with my son and these ladies let me get all my crazy out. I had lost 2 babies previously and was very worried that my womb would become a tomb again. The ladies in the forum calmed and reassured me. Since they had all been through what I have been through I wasn't making anyone uncomfortable when I mentioned my losses or had a sad day months after the losses. They understood that the happiness of having a baby growing inside me did not mask my grief at losing two pregnancies. We all rejoiced together when a "rainbow baby" entered the world and we all mourned together when one of us lost another baby. It was a great thing for me to have during my pregnancy. I concieved my son 19 days after my second loss and I was afraid for months that something was going to go wrong. We even had some scares during the pregnancy where it looked like he might have to be taken out early. I shared all this with the group and got the support I needed. I have come to love these ladies like a good friend that I see everyday. I honestly and truly care for them and am interested in their lives and how they are doing. We all became such a close knit group while we were pregnant. We have kept in touch since our babies were born, and have even started a group page on Facebook. Now the topic is raising little ones after loss. I am glad that it was started, I never knew that I would be so scared about my son living and breathing after he was born. I guess once you have lost a baby it changes the way you think. I never take anything for granted anymore. Not that I ever did, but if my daughter slept longer than usual I did not feel a panicky feeling like I do when my son does. I guess I have just realized how precious,short and fleeting life is. The women in the group realize it also. I chat with these ladies almost daily about our children and other kid related things. All this is so out of character for me, I have never in the past tried to communicate with anyone online or get to know anyone online. I am so glad that I took the plunge and did so. I don't think I could have handpicked a better group of ladies and I could not be happier with the support that these ladies have given me. So I guess what I am trying to say in such a longwinded way is seek out support. If you can't get it around you, get if from people you don't see everyday. The internet has created a network of people that a mom need only do a few clicks of her mouse and she will have all the support she needs.


High needs not Fussy

I have been trying very hard to stay positive when it comes to my children and what may be percieved as their "faults". My son is what others have referred to as "horribly fussy", "demanding", "draining", and "never happy". I internalized those words for a little bit and I felt pretty desperate for the day that he would outgrow all these labels. I will admit he does fuss a lot and he doesn't sleep very much and he wants everything done just right. He even has a routine that must be followed to the letter for him to sleep and you never really know what technique will console him. But having said all of that I would like to state the obvious- he's a baby. Babies fuss and babies cry some more than others and thats life. When I stopped listening to people and acknowledged that this was my new life and I was going to be eternally tired and the house was never going to be up to par I was able to really enjoy my baby. I had been just "living" through the long crying jags and the lack of sleep and only enjoying the "good" moments and not all the time I was blessed to have with him. I had got it into my head that there was a certain way for this mothering thing to be done. My son was turning all that upside down. I could have saved a lot of heartache if i just had done what he was demanding that I do from the beginning. Once I gave in and reached the level of excellance that he requires from me, I realized that I wasn't getting the most out of my time with him. I was to busy trying to make him be a happy baby. Because as we all know a happy baby is the hallmark of good parenting right? I realized that not every adult is happy all the time even when nothing is wrong, so why should a baby be? I can't expect more from him then I do adults. Everyone can have a bad day or slip into a funk, even a baby. Like most parents I expected him to be a little adult in some ways. I wanted him to drift off to sleep by himself after I turned on his mobile and to not need to be constantly held. Well that has never happened and he's almost five months so I'm not holding my breath. He also made it painfully obvious that he was not going to accept any mechanical mommies either. Bouncy seats, swings, bassinets, cribs, playpens none of those are good enough for him. And to be honest none of them can compare to my arms, my breasts, my voice and my warmth. I was to busy comparing him to his older sister. She was such and easygoing baby and loved to sit alone with a toy at this age. He won't so I have changed the way I mother. I have discovered babywearing and not just in the snuggli or Moby for and hour or so, but in a fabric wrap or mei tai for long stretches a few times a day. I have always co-slept, but I know he is going to be in bed with us longer than his sister was. I also have just slowed life way down, I take the time to listen to his cues and do things at his pace. So he might be "harder" than other babies, but I have learned to rise to the challenge. We are almost five months into this experience and i can finally say it feels like my life is not so crazy and fractured as it was after his birth. I have decided to relabel him with positive terms. So instead of "horribly fussy" I say "he communicates well" instead of "demanding" I say "he expects excellence" instead of "draining" I say "he siphons off the energy he needs from me" and instead of "never happy" I say "he's happy now that I listen to him".

And I couldn't leave this without providing a resource that was given to me by a friend. This resource didn't offer criticisms, tell me I was a bad mom, or offer advice that worked for every baby but mine. 12 features of a high needs baby


Runsfest 2011, Cloth diapering and a tooth!

Its been a while since I scribbled about my life on this here blog. A couple of weeks ago my daughter came down with a stomach virus and my son started a round of antibiotics. Needless to say I was up to my elbows in runny, smelly poop and vomit for over a week. I am just getting back to where life feels like normal. Having two kids definately doubles the mess! Husband and I even got a touch of it around the time the kids were just starting to feel better. All the scrubbing poop out of clothes and off the floor has made me think about cloth diapering. I am not at all grossed out about cleaning up poop so it just seems like the next logical step. I have done a lot of research and cloth diapers have evolved to be almost as easy and pain free as disposables. I am getting excited about the whole idea. The initial cost is the only thing that has kept me from taking the plunge. I want to make sure that I get the best possible diaper for the money. Also this child is my last so I do not want to put to much money into a system that will never be passed down to another child. Though I am encouraged that cloth diapers do seem to retain their value for resale.

My son has his first tooth! It broke the gum a couple of weeks ago. Its in an odd spot, up top and off to the side. Right now the gum is so swollen you can't even see the tooth anymore, there's just a hole in the gum where the tooth first poked out. It seems really weird, but I was told by a friend it happened to her son. This little boy has also started staring and snatching at my food. Even though he is only 4 months he seems to be ready to eat. I can't wait to start that part of his development.

Oh and I turned 29 a few days back! So I need to change my bio.


Weeds have grown slower

It seems like I am always buying clothes for my children. Four or five weeks ago I bought 3-6 month size clothing for my son and now I think I should be focusing on buying 6-9 month clothes!! When I bought those clothes he was swimming in his 0-3 months clothes and now some of the 3-6 months are snug. I absolutely love this gymboree outfit that I got for my son. He has only worn it twice and it looks like that might be it. Which brings me to a pet peeve of mine. Why can't all those clothing companies get together and come up with a standard sizing chart for babies!? What is a poor mother suppose to do? I guess she can drive around to a bazillion stores and buy all different brands in the hope that her kid will get three months use out of the lot. Or maybe the internet is the solution, much easier and you could probably get multiple brands at one site. And in my opinion the extra money spent on shipping and handling is worth not carting around two whining kids while shopping. My daughter who is 4 1/2 grows at a much slower rate, but it still seems that her clothes don't last very long either. I always buy a little big for her and in no time at all she has high water pants. One of the blessngs actually of having a little girl is that with some time and a sewing machine those can be capris! Also gotta love skirts. They're oh so versatile and when they get to short a pair of leggings makes them okay again. Now I'm not complaining about shoppping. I personally love to clothing shop for my kids. I love all the itty bitty outfits and thinking about how cute they will look in the new items. I just hate seeing those items getting barely any use. Because of that I have become the queen of "give it away". I give my sisters clothing for their daughters and I love seeing that the stuff I spent money on is still getting use. Some of those items are on their fourth little girl! I also recently discovered that there is a real need in our local high schools. Many teenage mothers and their parents do not have the means to clothe their babies. I didn't even realize that was an area of need. I Never even thought about donating at high schools until one day my husband's aunt who is a teacher mentioned that she could find a home for any clothes that I was given and didn't want. I have since been donating clothing and items and convincing my fellow mother's to drop off their kids outgrown stuff at my home to be sent to the school. It was really nice to hear that some mother without a diaper bag benefited from me letting go of one of my many. Its something that most mother's have more than one of and get them in designer patterns and in all different styles. This girl was happy to just have one. A lot of people ask me why I don't just sell the clothes so I can buy more. At one point I used to sell my baby clothes to used baby clothes stores. One day I was inside one looking at toys and I saw a dress that I sold them on sale for $12 after only recieving $1 for it. It was such a hideous mark up and for three dollars more someone could've bought it brand new. It was then that I decided I should just continue to give it all away. My children of course are still growing this very moment as I speak. My littlest has been asleep for almost two hours and I am sure this time next week that some of those snug outfits are no longer going to fit. I'm going to have to get the donation bags together and I guess I will get to try out that shopping online thing :)


better thicker baby vomit catcher

The last few days I have been sewing every spare chance that I can get! Which means I didn't have time to blog at all. I have been creating microfleecee pocket bibs and burp cloths for my son. My newest little one has a pretty bad case of reflux and throws up his meals all the time. Poor baby is always soaked when he wears regular bibs and I change his whole outfit a few times a day. Neither of us were happy with this arrangement so I created my own pattern for a bib that can handle his output. I started by tracing half of one of the insufficient bibs and enlarging and adjusting the pattern until it was just right. After I did that I added a 1/2 inch seam allowance around the whole thing. I folded a piece of fleece then pinned the pattern on the fold and cut around it. I did the same with the pocket. After that I sewed velcro to the "arms" of the bib on the right sides. With the right sides pinned together I then sewed up the pieces leaving a gap for turning. After snipping into the curves and turning I topstiched. Voila one thick bib complete with vomit pocket for my little guy! Now just to repeat several times so he has enough to make it through a few days. (Wish I wasn't typing this on my phone cause I'd upload pics so this all makes sense)