Because Motherhood is a journey!


R.I.P. Grandpa Al

Today my heart is heavy. My Grandpa passed away yesterday. He was in his eighties. His last three years were not pleasant for him. His body was tired and he said he was ready. I know he is no longer suffering but the loss of him still feels horrible. I am glad that I was able to see him before he went. I wasn't sure I would make it in time, but it took him four long days to pass. He endured so many horrific things as his body shut down. I had no clue that a natural death could be so painful and drawn out. I will miss him. May God rest his soul. My children went with me to visit him. I am glad I brought them. They may never remember this, but they were a blessing to Grandpa. My daughter and my niece sang to him and lifted his heart. My mother lifted my 6 month old up over the bed for Grandpa to see him and Grandpa gave him the biggest smile. My son locked eyes with him and grinned ear to ear. It was like for one golden moment no one was sad or dying. Children are such a blessing even the dying cannot resist their charm.

I have a funeral to go this week still. I have explained to my oldest about death. She is not quite five and I don't think she understands. I am not so sure she needs to. She knows that Grandpa Al was sick and now we are going to put him in the ground. And that he wanted to see his wife in heaven so he went there. What do you tell a small child besides that?


The Sleepy Sheep said...

My heart goes out to you! It's hard to lose a loved one, even when we know it's best for them. I wouldn't tell your daughter any more than you already have. Just let her teachers know (if she's in school yet) what's happened and keep your eyes and ears open. She may start to role play this in weird and shocking ways. Working in a day care for many many years I"ve seen kids reinact the funerals of grandparents and in one case the loss of a not yet born twin. I've seen them build coffins with big blocks to put each other in the ground with. It seems morbid to us, but to them it's their way of grasping the concept. I would just be truthful and honest when she talks about it or asks questions. Ask your local librarian for any suggestions on books if you think she's struggling too much. And, above all, don't struggle with your emotions in front of her. It's ok, even GOOD to cry in front of her and let her know how sad you are! That reinforces the idea that it's ok to not be happy when something like this happens.

Lois said...

Thank you for letting me know about the role playing. I had no clue she would go through all that with it and keep rehashing it out in her play. And she sure did! She seems to be over it now and doesn't really talk about Grandpa anymore.

The Sleepy Sheep said...

she'll likely bring him up again as she gets older and tries hard to remember things about him. When you're ready to do it, I'd put together a scrap book for her and your son ;) That's just what I wish somebody had done for me as grandparents passed in my childhood. Even just a photo box would be plenty ;)